I don’t play video games. I don’t think I’m in the game maker’s demographics. They generally don’t create games for a 40-something-year-old wife and mommy. But I have a get rich quick scheme to make games that would appeal to people like me. We have a certain type of skill set that the average video game maker just doesn’t understand.

First of all, women in my demographic don’t play video games because we feel like we are wasting valuable time. This overwhelming feeling that we should be doing something else hangs over our head daily. It will be hard to convince women to forget their responsibilities and play games. So these new games should come complete with silk pajamas and a box of chocolates. Alternate gold plated, premium editions will have coupons for maid services to be used while gaming. All video games for women should be timed – I noticed the games men play are all project driven. All women’s games should have a timer ticking down to ultimate destruction, we are used to a life trying to beat the clock before total mayhem erupts.

A wonderful game for the beginning woman gamer might be picking out an ensemble with appropriate high heels, skirt, blazer, and matching handbag. All within 5 minutes, of course, or your avatar watches a bus pass outside her “window” and your avatar loses her secretarial job. Bonus points are awarded for matching the right color lipstick to your avatar’s outfit. Or throwing a banana in a brown paper bag for her lunch.

Another wonderful game would have your avatar at the supermarket – the object of this game would be to buy a weeks worth of food for a family of four.  Your avatar will dodge stock boys dropping canned goods and church “friends” chasing you to have conversations. In the front of the shopping cart a baby will be crying for a bottle. All meals for 7 days would have to be bought – breakfast, lunch, and dinner. You must stay within an $83.62 budget and finish in 45 minutes or the avatar baby in the front of your cart will cry and then throw-up on you. I guarantee many women gamers would find this pathetically easy and require an alternate harder version with birthday party planning and possible pharmacy item pick-up.

First, I need a 15 year old computer programming boy. Done – I have that. Next I need a few days worth of pizza and maybe even a bag or two of Skittles. Check and check – I have them, too. Now I just need to steal his cell phone and get his attention.